August 1st to August 7th: NY State Assemblyman Targets Middle Easteners

Under the veil of racial profiling, New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind promised, this week, to introduce legislation that would make it legal for cops to target people of middle-eastern decent during bag searches.

"The FBI and authorities have a good idea of who is going to commit terrorism. They all look similar, but everyone is terrified of using the word 'racial,' " states Hikind. He goes on further to say that the NYPD's tactic of randomly checking bags without regard to race or ethnicity at subway entrances may be politically correct, but it won't save lives.

Dear Mr. Assemblyman Dov Hikind,

I totally agree with you, unlike some of these bad people who are chastising you for your comments. They’d rather wear blindfolds then see what’s right in front of their eyes. We should throw political correctness out the window, and get down to the knitty-gritty on important issues such as these. And now that you’ve won me over, Mr. Assemblyman, here are a few things I ask of you.

This has been on my mind for a long while; I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think anyone would understand. But I know you’ll understand Mr. Assemblyman, you’re the kind of man that stands up for what he believes in, even if it's an unpopular point of view. I’ve been a little apprehensive on my plane rides. Middle Easterners sharing the same flight with me, who’s to say what their up to. I notice as their bags go through X-ray. Security doesn’t necessarily even open up their bags to see whats inside. Ugh! Just because you didn’t see a bomb-like object in the X-ray doesn’t mean it’s not there. Open up the bags! I know I’m not the only one who feels this way; I joke about this with my friends all the time. Maybe you could help. I was thinking- could you include, in these searches you propose, that they(Middle Easterners) are targeted, as well, for bag checks in airports. I think this is much better. And this way, the rest of us wouldn’t have to be hassled at all, waiting for hours in those ‘god awful’ lines to get our bags searched. After all, we know who we’re after; we know what they look like.

Mr. Assemblyman, I’ve been thinking. I know that school mass shootings have not occurred in the State of New York as far as I can remember, still- I worry. They used to happen all the time elsewhere and what stops them from happening here? I can see you’re a man of action so here’s what I propose. In that little legislation thingy you’re creating, why not just add a provision for searches to include all high school boys of Caucasian decent on school grounds. If anyone challenges you on this- I think you should use that line about something being politically correct but not saving lives… or something like that. It’s a really good line, by the way, Mr. Assemblyman.

Also Mr. Assemblyman, it’s been hard on me lately. I watch the news and hear all these horrible things that people are doing to one another. It’s scary! I’ve noticed a trend Mr. Assemblyman. You may have caught on to this as well, being the intelligent man you are. Most serial murders seem to be white men. This is most frightening to me, as I’ve been led to believe I should feel safe on the streets of Manhattan walking by droves of white men in business suits, and such. And now- I realize that there may have been a serial murder amongst them. Oh my, this is too disturbing… I need a minute… hold on… sigh, o.k. Well Mr. Assemblyman, this matter deserves your utmost attention. Maybe you could add some additional language to this legislation you’re creating, which gives a policeman the right to search, say- any white man between the ages of 18 to 44 caught on public or private property not belonging to them. Oh yes, this will definitely help me sleep better at night.

One more thing Mr. Assemblyman, or can I call you Dov, I feel so close to you now. Well Dov, as I’m sure you know, we’ve been having a little problem with these male students and their teachers in recent years. Why- just this week, I read in the paper that a teacher in upstate New York is being accused of having sex with four of her students. O Dov, this is bad. This is really bad. I feel something drastic needs to be done here. Thankfully, we are ahead of the game on this one too, as I’ve been able to observe certain commonalities. It seems that the tendency for such lascivious behavior falls toward middle-aged white women who are either single or not single. What I think you should do Dov, is draft another small legislation specifically for this issue. It could say something like, ‘Police, principal or parent suspecting inappropriate sexual behavior from any teacher has the right to use whatever means to prove or disprove their claim. Means could include but are not limited to- search, search and seizure, surveillance and possible arrest by police or citizens arrest if deemed necessary.’ I know this seems harsh Mr. Assemblyman, uhem, I mean Dov… but the future of our children is at stake.

So in closing, I hope I haven’t taken up too much of your time, I’m sure you’re a very busy man. I just want to thank you for your commitment to our safety. You’re a real stand-up guy. I hope you take these suggestions to heart. I know you’ll do what’s best.

Warmest Regards,

Concerned Citizen


Also This Week in NYC:

• London-based "OK!" Magazine launches their U.S. version in Times Square on Wednesday.
• Designer Chan Luu hosts New York showroom launch party to celebrate the opening of her 4,300 square-foot New York showroom on Wednesday.
• Molly Sims and Michael Kors launch "Island - Michael Kors," his new fragrance at Bloomingdale's on Thursday.
• Robin Thicke hosts a Listening Party sponsored by Coach with Special Guest Pharrell Williams at Cipriani on Thursday.